"... A Christian mother is writing a ‘family friendly’ version of Harry Potter – in which gay headmaster Albus Dumbledore is actually a straight reverend.
The story ‘Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles’ is currently 8000 words long, and was written by evangelical mother Grace Ann, who took it upon herself to remove all references to witchcraft, homosexuality and liberal values.
In the new version of the story, Lord Voldemort is known for persecuting Christians, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon ‘mistreat’ Harry by forcing him to listen to Richard Dawkins.
It also recasts Albus Dumbledore – the gay headmaster of Hogwarts who had a romance with Gellert Grindelwald in the original novels – as ‘Reverend Dumbledore’, who is married to..." Professor Minerva McGonagall, with whom he has a daughter, Hermione Granger, who — inexplicably — has a different last name from the rest of her family....
"... Ensuing chapters also reveal Slytherin (catholic) Ron’s worship of idols, Harry’s refusal to pray to the Virgin Mary, and this iconic sorting-hat moment:
"...and then he [Harry] jumped up onto the table; and he got down on his knees; and he raised his hands to the ceiling of the Great Hall; and he bellowed, “Dear Lord, I have made my decision! I am a GRYFFINDOR HAT!”
Snape, apparently, is a Gryffindor as well. Pray we find out why in Chapter 8. "